Guide
New father support
The baby has a midwife, a health visitor, a red book and a room full of people asking how they're feeding. You get asked how she's doing. This page is the other half of that conversation: what the first hundred days tend to do to a man, where to get real help in the UK, and what you can do in the next two minutes.
Nobody really tells you what happens to you.
If it's urgent
- 999 — if you, your partner or your baby are in immediate danger.
- Samaritans, 116 123 — free, 24 hours, every day. You do not have to be suicidal to ring them.
- NHS 111 — urgent but not an emergency, including urgent mental health help in most areas.
- Shout, text 85258 — if talking out loud isn't possible at 3am in a quiet house.
The full, region-aware list lives inside the app on the Support screen.
What new fathers actually report
The pattern is fairly consistent, and it rarely looks like the word "depression" on a leaflet. It looks like a short fuse in a supermarket queue, staying late at work because work is the one place you're competent, scrolling at 2am with a baby on your chest, or feeling nothing much at all when you expected to feel everything.
- Around one in ten fathers experiences depression in the first year after a birth, and rates are higher when a partner is also struggling.
- Anxiety in fathers is under-reported and often shows up as vigilance — checking breathing, checking locks, checking the monitor.
- Sleep loss changes how threatening ordinary things feel. Your judgement about how you're coping is itself affected by the sleep you've lost.
- Relationship strain in the first year is common and is not, by itself, a sign the relationship is failing.
Support that exists for dads specifically
- Your GP — you can book for yourself. Say plainly: "I've had a baby and I'm not right." That sentence is enough.
- Your health visitor — they see the whole family, not only the baby, and they know what's funded locally.
- NHS Talking Therapies — self-referral in England, no GP letter needed.
- Dad Matters, DadsNet, Andy's Man Club — peer support with men who have been in the same fortnight you're in.
- ACAS and your employer — for paternity leave, shared parental leave and flexible working, which are practical mental health measures as much as legal ones.
Three things that help in under five minutes
- Slow your exhale. Breathe out for longer than you breathe in, for about sixty seconds. It is the fastest lever you have on your own nervous system.
- Put the baby down. A crying baby in a safe cot, on their back, in their own sleep space, while you stand in the hallway for two minutes, is a safe baby. Never sleep on a sofa or chair holding them.
- Say one true sentence to one person. Not a summary. One sentence about the actual worst part.
What DADSAID does
One honest thought and one useful reset, every morning, for your first hundred days. No streaks, no badges, no feed. Roughly three minutes. It's wellbeing support and education — it isn't medical care, it doesn't diagnose anything, and it doesn't replace any of the services above.
Common questions
Where can a new dad get support in the UK?
For anything urgent, call 999. For mental health that can't wait, Samaritans are on 116 123, free, 24 hours a day. For ongoing help, start with your GP, ask your health visitor what's available locally, and look at DadsNet, Dad Matters and Andy's Man Club for peer support with other fathers.
Do fathers get postnatal depression?
Fathers can and do experience depression and anxiety after a birth. Research reviews put the rate at roughly one in ten new fathers, and it often shows up as irritability, withdrawal, working late or drinking more rather than obvious sadness. It is treatable, and a GP appointment is a reasonable first step.
How long does the hard part last?
There is no fixed timetable, but sleep and feeding usually settle somewhat between the sixth week and the fourth month. That is an average, not a promise. If your mood has been low or anxious for more than two weeks, treat that as its own thing rather than something to wait out.
What can I do in two minutes when I'm at the edge?
Put the baby somewhere safe on their back, walk into another room and slow your out-breath so it lasts longer than your in-breath for about a minute. Longer exhalations are consistently linked to reduced physiological arousal. Never sleep on a sofa or armchair holding your baby — if you're holding them, stay awake and seated upright.